pudding and a movie

Dad would’ve been sad to go and yeah, we loved him dearly…

So..

..well here’s my speech from the funeral anyway..

My most vivid memory of Dad is high in the mountains. We are near temple basin where we had come to do some work on the ski tows in the summer. I am about ten years old and there is a fog coming over the pass.  Everyone else has chosen to go down by the normal path, but I am following my Dad over these wet stones. I am clutching my toy tin canteen like it is survival equipment and trying to keep up with the big figure in the mist ahead. What I remember most is his confidence, his passion for exploring. If he could avoid the beaten track, Dad would, at every opportunity, and yet we would always trust him to know his way.

The day after I head the news I went for a walk in the rain. I stood under a kind of awning and watched the rain come down on a dreary Long Island baseball field and remembered another time in the mountains. Standing in the shelter of a bivvy that Dad had built and watching the rain fall in the forest. Eating scroggin. I think this is one of the times I have seen Dad at his happiest.

I also remember how happy Dad was the last time I saw him. Watching over my three kids and helping them build marble castles. I remember thinking he has been really enjoying the moment in these recent years. Just passing from one moment to the next without worrying about things that had to be done. Certainly he never stopped committing to help so many people out, in so many ways, but I think he finally got to where he could do all these things by his choice alone. Mum says that he didn’t believe in planning ahead, but he lived every day very fully. He has certainly packed a lot in to the time he’s been around.

I think he was a great man, probably greater than I can ever be. Certainly his PhD at Cambridge and a first ascent at Mt Cook stand out as accomplishments of which I am very proud but perhaps his greatest achievement was his commitment to ideals higher than mere career. I understand now how many sacrifices he must have made to be so dedicated to his family and to making things better back here in New Zealand.

Some would say it took time to discover this, but ultimately Dad was a very tender hearted family man. He can be very proud of all that he has done in his life, and for all that he and Mum have built together.

–

UPDATE: I probably delivered it differently at the funeral, and there are probably things I would change now, but yeah. It stands.

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